Are You Raising Another Man’s Child? – Men’s Health

According to this (lengthy) article, nearly 1 in 28 men in the US are raising children that they did not father.  Wow.  The number astonishes me.

My kids are mine – regardless of what any DNA would say at this point.  But 15 years ago?  Who knows how I would have reacted.  I am pretty sure the police would have been involved. 

This kind of blows the stereotype of men being the cheaters out of the water, I think.  In fact, I know more women who cheated on their husbands than I do men who cheated on their Wives’. 

I’m not saying men cheat less, just that I don’t think they cheat more, anymore.

By: Oliver Broudy

Source: Are You Raising Another Man’s Child? – Men’s Health


  1. MissM – np :). It is a very long article. But if their numbers are even half right it is also very disturbing!


  2. Rob – sorry for not reading the reference that this post is based on.. doh! 🙂

  3. MissM – this article is specifically about fathers who *do not know* they are raising someone else’s children. I agree it takes a brave man to raise someone else’s children. It also takes a deceived man to raise someone else’s children if he’s led to believe they are his own.

  4. Kami touched on my point. Divorce and remarriage are the reasons, I believe, that a lot of men are raising children not their own. Hopefully this doesn’t mean the sperm donor is slack, and the children benefit from having 2 Dads involved in their lives. It takes a brave and courageous person to try to raise someone else’s kids.

  5. I totally agree. However, I think men, if faced with a similar situation would be equally deceptive and emotionally cruel. Actually, they often are when they abandon their children. That said, I think that neither form of dishonesty should be tolerated.

  6. Kami – I certainly agree that men need to take responsibility for children they father. I don’t want it to seem as if I don’t think that’s critically important.

    I’ve had primary custody of my kids for about 6 years – and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. But men not taking responsibility for children they father doesn’t excuse the actions of a woman who knowingly causes a man other than the biological father of a child to believe he is in actually the biological father. This is more that just financially unfair, it is emotionally cruel (and not just to the “father”, but to the children as well).

    And as for those doctors that don’t tell the fathers – that sounds like a good malpractive suit waiting to happen as far as I am concerned. Some father should test that route…


  7. I am not for lying or cheating. However, here is the problem with the stats. Someone fathered those children, and were probably cheating themselves, but they don’t necessarily have to live with the consequences of that action. Women do, since they are the ones that bear the children. So, you can pick on the women in this example, but it takes two to tango.

    Also, if you factor in divorce and remarriage, way more men (and women) are raising children that are biologically not their own than these estimated numbers suggest.

  8. @Deannie .. it’s not just simply lying .. it’s this very strong tendency of the human species to believe that when you ignore a problem, it will go away.
    And the sad thing is: I know a few (!) of these cases, and in all of them .. that immature strategy … worked! I guess that, in at least one of these cases, there was some ‘ignoring’ from both sides. Path of least resistance? Not losing face?

  9. The thing about this lying on this scale is, how can a person delude themselves that the relationship they are in is not hollow? And of course, as is rightly pointed out in the article, the consequences to the children can be deadly if they inherit genetic defects…