I’ve had a ton of roles in my life. Neonatal Respiratory Therapist, entrepreneur, Customer Support guy, Software QA Manager, Developer – and now managing both a media team and social media. And trying not to mix the two up.

So why do I hate “Social Media”? Because I hate what we’ve made it seem like – like a light touch, semi support, mostly marketing, lead generation tool.  And by “us” I do not mean my company – I mean most of you/us.

Why do I run our “social media” then, if I don’t like it all that much?

Because if I do not run it, I do not have a voice in it.  I can care, or not.  I can be involved, or not.  But if I do not care and am not involved I have little right to complain.  I like to complain, so I need to be involved to maintain some credibility:)

So I “run” our SM efforts because I want to make sure they have the right focus.  I want to make sure we focus on customers – and not marketing, lead-gen, sales, etc.

I want to do it “right” – or at least what I consider to be right.

To me Social Media is just a new name for “loving customers”.

So I don’t care all that much about “measurement”, or “analytics” or “any of that BS”.

To me I want to know that we are first helping customers.  And that is NOT Social Media.  That is customer support.  Which I really love.  Something Rackspace loves.

I am Rob La Gesse and I work for Rackspace.  My home number is 210-370-3861.  My cell is 210-845-4440.

And I love customers.  Social Media helps me find them. I may run Social Media, but it is really all about support.

We use Social Media to find new ways to talk to customers – and give them new ways to find us. That is pretty much it. So far.  I hope to keep it that way.

I planned on writing an internal message to my company, reminding them of some Social Media guidelines.

But as I started writing I thought, “this is not specific to us – and may help others”.

I “manage” Social Media for my company – and that is in quotes because I do not run the various Twitter accounts, or tell people what to say and when. I am more like a guidance counselor, for those that want to listen. I influence what we do in Social Media. I don’t direct or dictate it.

But I do remind people when they cross a line, like using our brands in their Twitter handles – “IBMJake” is probably not a good Twitter name for you, or IBM. Aligning yourself as an advocate of IBM is very different. At Rackspace we encourage people to be passionate about their work – but we discourage mixing the brand into personal social media persona’s.

We have corporate personas, and even a verified account. These are the voices that speak as the company. As much as we encourage Rackers to have a voice, and speak their minds – we want them speaking as them, and not as Rackspace.

There are some mistakes in life you cannot recover from – a lesson I have spent two decades drilling into my children’s heads. You cannot recover from a felony arrest, or a teenage pregnancy – these things will affect your life forever. You may overcome them – but they will slow you down.

Making Social Media mistakes has a similar effect – if not as permanent. Drunk tweets, mistimed tweets, tweeting as the voice of the company when you are not, talking about finances or how your day sucked because your boss was a pain – there are a lot of ways to screw Social Media up.

So it should scare you if you elect to talk about your company, your job, your boss, or your co-workers. I wish it scared more people.

But that doesn’t mean you should be afraid to participate in the conversations surrounding your employer – hell – to most of us, our work is about 50% of our lives – if not more.

I started our social media efforts with two simple questions. “Is it hurtful?” and, “Is it helpful?”.

Everything we have built over the last year plus has been based on those key tenants.

We have seen mentions of us on Social Media rise from 400 a month to over 13K/month. Partially because people know we are in those communities. Mostly, I think, because they know we exist to actually help. When people reach out, we reach back. We aren’t mouthpieces – we are ex-customers who love customers. We know the company from many angles. We’ve been customers, been in support roles, we know the systems, and we know how to get stuff done. And we are sponsored by Senior Leadership – so people know we have the ability to actually affect change.

I think we have one of the most perfect infrastructures for Social Media that a company can have. We were already based on a culture of support – Social Media is just an extension of that culture. Everyone here gets that customers are important – and that happy customers bring more customers.

So every time before we respond to a customer, we ask those two questions. “Is it hurtful?” – if so, stop. And, “Is it helpful?” – if not, why do it? If we can’t help, we shut up. It makes us more efficient and the brand more helpful.

And sure, it gets a lot more complicated than that – but it is also as simple as that.

Customers just want to be taken care of – by people they know actually care. If the only people that feel that way in your company are in Social Media, you are in trouble. And if your Social Media team is not focused on that same goal – you are in trouble.

First, I am not presumptuous enough to tell anyone how to apologize, or think I am in any way an expert at it.  I am just pretty good at it, so I thought I would share what I have learned.

So this is how I apologize – your mileage may vary.

1.  Listen. And by that I do not mean, “let the customer vent”.  I mean listen.  Listening is not passive. Listening is active, and you should be contributing back to the conversation even as you listen.  You should be seeking clarifications at this point.  Do not get defensive.

2. Repeat what you think you heard and make sure you and the customer agree with the basic issues.  This is actually a great opportunity to dig deeper and find out what that one really big pain point is (and in my experience, it is almost always one major issue, even if they have a laundry list of issues to start with).  Listen and engage – don’t just listen – they will think you are blowing them off – or that you just get paid to listen. Interact.

2a – Do correct any factual mistakes or assumptions your customer has made at this point.  But do it in a methodical and no-nonsense, non-threatening way.  Make that quick and then focus on the main issue.

3. Know what you are talking about. Know your product better than your customer does.  Make sure you know the pain points.  It makes all the difference.

4. Empathy – people often mistake this as “feeling sorry for”. It is NOT.  Empathy is more like, “been there, done that”.  People who raised children alone are empathetic to each other. Those who haven’t often “sympathize”.  Being sympathetic is nowhere near as effective as establishing that connection with the customer.  Empathizing is a shared pain point – one the customer knows you have also experienced – because you really have, and you can share thier pain because you have honestly felt it.

5. Follow up.  No painful customer conversation should ever end with one conversation.  Call them again in a week. Ask if they are doing any better – or if you are doing any better.

6. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, but deliver what you promise.

7. Take their side when you should.  Don’t be afraid to agree with your customer if they say, “this feature sucks”.  If it sucks, it sucks.  And if it truly sucks and you try to pretend it does not – you have lost.

8. Invite the customer in.  Tell them how to send suggestions for improvement – offer to call them every couple weeks to get feedback.  Add them to your advisory board.  Customers that are so passionate about your product that they get angry when you fail them are the best customers to have advising you.  They care enough to let you know they care.  And tell you what they think, and what they need.

9. Be human.  This is vastly underestimated in most of the reading I have done on this topic.  If you have a script for dealing with upset customers then you fail.

10. Don’t offer to credit or “pay” your customer anything until you get through most of these steps.  Customers that are passionate about your product but just pissed about a current issue, or even a longtime flaw will just get offended.  Do offer reparations after the fact if that makes sense.  But if a refund is your opening move you are destined to fail quickly.

So those are ten quick points – and they don’t apply to everyone, I know.  I wasn’t trying to write a rule book – just trying to explain how I apologize.

I listen actively, with engagement.  Make sure I really understand the important issues.  I know the product so well that I probably know their pain point as well as they do.  So I can empathize – without seeming phony.  I don’t let it stop at one conversation and I share all my personal contact info, including my home phone number.  But I DO make it clear that I am not support – I am more of a lifeline.  I do not want to be the first person they call.  So I set boundaries.

I treat people well.  Even if they are angry at me/my employer.  Everyone is allowed some emotional and sometimes even irrational moments.  I have my share of those.

I don’t try to pay to make the problem go away.  I try to make the problem go away and then use credits/refunds as more of a parting hug.

I also make myself available – I am easy for customers to find.  And I want to be found.  I want to try and make someone happy.  That’s my job – why would I hide from it.