Checking the mail box

My dog Yoshi loves to go check the mail.  So much so that we take him out even on Sunday, when no post is delivered.  He doesn’t seem to notice the detail

Me, not so good at checking the mail box.  But as I was sorting out my inbox I found a couple of reader questions:

Marcy asks:

Why don’t you talk about something (I mean one thing)?

I do, almost always.  Look again and you’ll see that MOST of my posts are about one thing.


Jeff ponders:

Do you think you are funny or something?

I think I can be funny.  I think I am more often "or something".  Your mileage may vary.  Not responsible for lost or stolen comments.  All reserves righted.


Knarly (really – that’s the way it was spelled) realizes:

Man, you are whacked.  Your kids are reading this shit!  Did you know that?  Did you know they can find your blog!?!?!?

Yes.  I knew that.  My son has read it in school, with his class, in front of his teacher.  Nothing here I am ashamed of.  Some things I would certainly do differently if I had a "do over".  I don’t.  Deal with it.  I have.


Father Mike:

I’m trying to get custody of my kids too.  My lawyer thinks I have a pretty good chance but my parole officer says it’s a long shot and that I am wasting my time (and money – and I owe the state money).  What do you think?

Fire the lawyer.  And if you have more convictions than your wife does, don’t hire another.


Ruth wonders:

Have you always been fucked up, or did that happen after you joined the Militarty [sic]?  My brother was fine until he joined the Coast Gard [sic] and he’s been messed up ever sence [sic]

Ruth:  The Coast Guard didn’t fuck your brother up.  He probably went crazy trying to read your letters.


That’s today’s mailbag.  Send any questions to rob [at] lagesse [dot] org.  If you can’t decipher that, good.



PS: These aren’t all real – maybe.  Some are. Maybe.  Can you guess which one’s might be real and which might be fakes? Oh – and at least one of them is real, and at least one is fake.  So build an algorithm and give me your best guesses.


  1. Done

  2. @Chris .. you’re right, I should have added a spoiler warning. I was under the impression that this was a widely known fact.
    (Made that way by forementioned cabbies: I though THAT story was widely known too)

    @Rob .. can you replace the word ‘*******’ in the above posts (AND this one!). by ‘****’? (Edited by Rob at Paul’s request to hide the “spoiler”)

  3. NSA Paul, NSA… gotta keep your agencies straight 🙂

    AND one should always give a spoiler alert. The mousetraps ending is a HUGE long kept secret, I even saw it in the 70s (I think that ages me, but perhaps not) 😉
    It might if I admitted to not remembering who it was. lol

  4. Well, then turn it into a business!

    And btw, she IS being spied on by the government!

    (And that I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean the CIA is not following me!)

  5. 🙂 I didn’t make *all* of them up. heh.

    I do get some pretty weird emails though. And phone calls, for that matter. Like the lady that called me from Alabama and told me that the government was using her computer to spy on her (I recommended she unplug it). She really thought I could help her somehow…

  6. THE ****** DID IT!” (Edited by Rob at Paul’s request to hide the “spoiler”)

    In fact, that’s the phrase that London cabbies will yell at you after they have driven you to the theatre to see Agatha Christie’s ‘The Mousetrap’ play, and they consider your tip NOT quite satisfactory!

  7. Can you guess which one’s might be real and which might be fakes? Oh – and at least one of them is real, and at least one is fake.

    THE ******* DID IT! (Edited by Rob at Paul’s request to hide the “spoiler”)

  8. Dear rob [at] lagesse [dot] org

    Have you ALWAYS been this confused? Making up emails and then answering them?

    Who do you think you are?
    Ann Landers?
    Dear Abby?

    Maybe you should start a REAL category:
    Dear Bobby…

    – An anonymous commenter who was stupid enough to leave his real name in the headers.