Someone asked me today if, “since I know someone that could help them” if I would “call in a favor”.
I don’t “call in favors”. Not from friends – or business associates.
Nobody I deal with on either a personal or professional level owes me anything. If I am dealing with someone on a personal level, then I consider them a friend. I might discuss something with them – even try to excite them about something – but never, ever call in a favor. That implies a previous debt. Friendship is not a debt.
People I deal with on a professional level are either paying me, or getting paid by me – again – we are “even”. No debts to be called in. No room to ask for favors.
I will, of course, hook people up when I think it is good for both parties. But if everyone wins, I am not calling in favors.
Please don’t ask me to call in any favors – nobody owes me anything, I have friends that are friends because they are decent and honorable people that respect me and what I do. I have business associates that I work hard for – and that work hard for me. In either case we compensate each other based upon agreed terms.
And don’t get mad at me if I won’t introduce you to “XYZ”. Chances are you misunderstand my relationship with XYZ to start with.
And even if you didn’t misunderstand my relationship with XYZ, I am not willing to jeopardize my relationship with XYZ.
Almost anyone is accessible in some form or fashion nowadays. You want to meet them – go hang where they hang. Get interested in what they are interested in. Become a part of their outer circle. Earn some trust. Be nice. Play fair. Treat people well. Keep your expectations low. Everyone is busy – it may take a year or two before you get a voice in their circle. But most people are decent people – and if they come to realize that you are interested in them, and what they are doing, instead of what they can do for you – well then you may make a friend. And friends are far more useful in business than contacts are.
Then you won’t need me to call in any favors. And we will all be happier.