I went and bought some new clothes today.Ã‚Â Specifically some shirts and jeans (ok, some underwear too – Spiderman, to be exact).
Anyway, I tried on a pair of Target-branded jeans.Ã‚Â The size was 32-31, and the fit well.Ã‚Â I didn’t like how they looked tough (already faded… I like new-looking jeans).Ã‚Â So I found some Levi-Strauss – same size, $16 more.Ã‚Â I didn’t try them on.
I never shop and buy just one of anything – if I find something I like, I buy 4-5 of them.Ã‚Â This way I don’t have to go back very often (I hate shopping).
So I bought five pairs.Ã‚Â I got them home and NONE of them fit, yet they are all marked as size 32-31.Ã‚Â Ã‚Â How can this happen?!?!Ã‚Â The other pants fit fine on the waist and the length, and these were too damn tight on the waist and looked like 35 on the length.Ã‚Â So I guess I go back to the store and exchange them.Ã‚Â Why isn’t 32-31 ALWAYS 32-31?Ã‚Â
If you think your computer crashes a lot now, imagine if clothing designers did the programming.Ã‚Â Imagine Excel programmed by Tommy Hilfiger: “It looks awesome, but it can’t add for shit”.
Why can’t we just measure sizes in freaking inches and make them all the same?Ã‚Â Hell, at this point, I’ll even settle for the decimal system – as long as we all just get it together.
Better yet, color code the shit, like Giranimals.Ã‚Â Give me one color for size and another for “matches with…”.Ã‚Â That way I can shop in minutes, and it’ll always be right.Ã‚Â That way I would feel comfortable ordering clothes over the Internet.Ã‚Â That way I wouldn’t have to make another damn trip to the store just to get material to over my ass in 103 degree weather.
Ah well.Ã‚Â If I ran the world, stop lights wouldÃ‚Â always be synchronized and spammers would be publicly executed.