I’ll never understand you creatures

And by “you”, I mean women.

I just got a phone call that went something like this:

Her: “Hi, Rob? How are you?  I didn’t hear from you today”

Me: “Uh… yeah, I’m doing great, how are you?” (frantically looking at the caller-ID)

Her: “I’m doing ok.  I really thought I would hear from you today though”

Me: “Well, we haven’t really spoken in almost two years – why were you expecting to hear from me today”

Her; “Hmmph.  Because it’s VALENTINE’S DAY, silly

Me: “Uh, ok.  But why would I call you on Valentine’s Day – we haven’t talked in forever”

Her: “That’s probably because I didn’t hear from you on Valentine’s Day!”

Me: “I’m sorry – I didn’t realize Valentine’s day was a chore I accepted in perpetuity”

(I was joking – mostly)

Her: “Well you don’t need to be an ass about it!  Now you are being mean!  I just called to say hello, after all.”

Me: “I wasn’t trying to be an ass – your call just surprised me, that’s all”

Her: “Why would it surprise you – it’s Valentine’s Day!”

(WTF – is Valentine’s Day some new kind of holiday where you are expected to buy a gift for and/or call anyone you were ever involved with?)

Me: silent

Her: “Well you don’t have to be so rude – I was just calling to say hello

Me: “OK, I’m sorry.  I am just tired.Maybe we could go get a cup of coffee, or lunch later this week – when I am awake”.

Her: “You won’t ever let it go will you – you know we just don’t work well together, but you keep trying and trying.  You really need to think about moving on.”


Yes, I imagine I was a bit of an ass – but what the hell did she call me for anyway?

I’ll never understand you creatures.

But I’ll fall asleep knowing that tomorrow is NOT Valentine’s Day, thank you very much.


  1. WOW.

    The woman calls the man, gets mad at him and then tells him HE needs to MOVE ON?

    I am rather confident that ‘CLICK’ was the only elegant response.

    I don’t understand this kind of behavior either.

  2. Oh – and before you judge me TOO harshly on my Valentine’s Day rudeness – I’ve never been a fan of the day – ever. In 18 years of marriage I hated this Hallmark Holiday constructed to seperate cash in exchange for crap which we (guys) hope is good enough crap that we can exchange it for sex (which since we are in a freaking relationship we shouldn’t really have to be paying for in the first place).

    And I seperated from my ex exactly 6 Valentine’s Days ago – so no – not my favorite “holiday”. Never was, never will be. So if you are a female who either is, or thinks they are in my life, don’t hold your breath on either a gift or a call from me on Valentine’s Day. Ever..