And by “you”, I mean women.
I just got a phone call that went something like this:
Her: “Hi, Rob? How are you? I didn’t hear from you today”
Me: “Uh… yeah, I’m doing great, how are you?” (frantically looking at the caller-ID)
Her: “I’m doing ok. I really thought I would hear from you today though”
Me: “Well, we haven’t really spoken in almost two years – why were you expecting to hear from me today”
Her; “Hmmph. Because it’s VALENTINE’S DAY, silly“
Me: “Uh, ok. But why would I call you on Valentine’s Day – we haven’t talked in forever”
Her: “That’s probably because I didn’t hear from you on Valentine’s Day!”
Me: “I’m sorry – I didn’t realize Valentine’s day was a chore I accepted in perpetuity”
(I was joking – mostly)
Her: “Well you don’t need to be an ass about it! Now you are being mean! I just called to say hello, after all.”
Me: “I wasn’t trying to be an ass – your call just surprised me, that’s all”
Her: “Why would it surprise you – it’s Valentine’s Day!”
(WTF – is Valentine’s Day some new kind of holiday where you are expected to buy a gift for and/or call anyone you were ever involved with?)
Her: “Well you don’t have to be so rude – I was just calling to say hello
Me: “OK, I’m sorry. I am just tired.Maybe we could go get a cup of coffee, or lunch later this week – when I am awake”.
Her: “You won’t ever let it go will you – you know we just don’t work well together, but you keep trying and trying. You really need to think about moving on.”
Yes, I imagine I was a bit of an ass – but what the hell did she call me for anyway?
I’ll never understand you creatures.
But I’ll fall asleep knowing that tomorrow is NOT Valentine’s Day, thank you very much.