But sometimes they take it personally. For the first time since getting my new gig, I used my new Doctor. She’s very nice, but I was there for the Flu/Strep throat that has been kicking my ass and she wanted to talk about the entire freaking anatomy.
Finally I told her, “Look, let’s just get me over this current shit, and we’ll work on some of your other concerns, OK?”
Her response? “You are lying to me – you won’t come back until the next time you are miserable”.
BINGO! You win the grand prize, Lady Doctor! Because you are absolutely, positively 100% correct!
Why? Because your goal is to FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. If I have flaws that AREN’T bothering me, then honestly, I prefer keeping it that way for as long as I can. When they start bothering me TOO much, I’ll come see you. Perhaps in time – perhaps not. But shouldn’t that be MY call?
I guess not, since I just got a call from her office telling me she had set an appointment for me tomorrow. Oh, it was a computer that called, which sucked. It isn’t very satisfying telling a machine to shove itself up its own ass! (I DID try though). I won;t be seeing you tomorrow, Lady Doctor.
So, Dear Doctor Lady – let’s make a deal. I promise to come visit you whenever it is the lesser evil between seeing you, and the the pain/discomfort/odd growth/whatever that drives me there. But in between you need to leave me alone and instead anticipate with joy that the next time you see me I will be ABSOLUTELY miserable, and you can say, “I told you so”. And should I grow a large brain tumor in that period you can really gloat about it. Deal?
One more thing – don’t remind me that smoking is bad for me. I know that. I knew it before you were born 🙂
Work with me here!
Gads, I hate Doctors 🙂