Searching For Tapeworms · Violent Acres

Best. Cat. Definition. Ever. 

My cats, on the other hand, view me as nothing more than a can opener. Theyd lick their paws casually as a deranged serial killer stabbed me a half a dozen times. Then, theyd eat my eyes.

Searching For Tapeworms ยท Violent Acres


  1. Exactly ..

    Gawd, I love ‘m….

    They’re just smart beings, with a mind of their own and being practical. If the boss (your main food supplier) is dead… eat him: after all: he IS your food supplier. Nothing wrong with THAT logic!)

    What is it with people who prefer those slobbering smelly dogs who follow them around everywhere they go and BEG… for .. whatever.
    Does this do something to their “boss'” ego? That they are BOSS? Confirm they ARE something?
    I mean.. can you even IMAGINE Bush with a CAT?
    Clinton? (yes, he had a dog too, I know!).. sure enough! Had a cat (Socks).. it all makes sense!
    Smart people have cats. People with ego-issues have dogs. (Gawd… how I LOVE to instigate). People with BOTH dogs and cats are just animal lovers: they are cool! (just getting some friends of mine off the hook!)
    In fact, one of my current job’s (sort of… complicated story) interview questions was: “cat” or “dog”?
    Long story short: I have cats .. I got the job! Enough said (sensing comments to this comming up… ๐Ÿ˜‰