Social Rules for Flying Coach

1) If you must piss twice for every drink you have, and you must have 6 drinks in a three hour flight, then you must sit in the aisle seat. No exceptions.

2) If you are wider than your seat buy two seats. I paid a full fair for my smaller frame – but I still deserve ALL of my seat. I paid for it, dammit.

3) The flight crew isn’t maid service or room service. I would rather they did their jobs without having to worry about finding you a damn pillow. If a pillow is that damn important to you, bring one with you.

4) In a three-wide seat configuration there are four armrests. Nobody gets two of them for the entire flight.

5) Shower before you fly.

6) If I have headphones on and have my eyes shut – I probably don’t want to chat.

7) Don’t adjust your air-vent to blow on me – if it’s bothering you, shut it off.

8) I don’t care how important you think you are. If you were that damn important (especially with your arrogance) you would be in first class – and I wouldn’t have to be bothered with you. If my eyes are open, and I don’t have headphones on, I am probably open to some idle chit-chat. That doesn’t mean I want to spend an entire flight hearing you pump up your ego.

9) Don’t ask me questions about what you see on my computer screen – it’s rude that you were looking in the first place.

10) If I decide to watch a movie on my laptop, I will probably offer you a set of headphones so you can listen. If I do, watch the movie at my pace – don’t ask me to pause it or rewind it, or worse yet to explain it.


  1. EXPLAIN the movie?!? sheesh…