YCMTSU – Flying Squirrels, clean dishes and a late night drive in the cold

OK.  The drive wasn’t THAT late at night – but it was after 6pm my time, and this time of year it is dark (and cold) at 6pm.  I plan my life around NOT having to go out when it is cold or dark.  I like my home – that’s why I work here.

But when you get a call from your teenager saying, “Can you come pick me up? I’ll explain later – it’s a long story” – well, you go pick your son up! No questions asked.  We had this talk years ago.  I promised to always get him home, if he promised to always call me when he was in trouble.

But I didn’t just have to go out to get him – I had to go the The Quarry – a mall.  8 days before Christmas.  Ugh.

Traffic was as I expected at 5:30 in one of the largest cities in North America, headed to a mall, 8 days before Christmas.

I arrive and pick up my son, and his friend (I’ll leave her name out of it – embarrassing my own kids is cool – someone else’s isn’t). And started to head home.

I was expecting that they perhaps found someplace to sneak a drink, or something.  I thought of a lot of reasons I would need to go and pick them up (she has a car, and that is what they left in).

I would not – not for the life of me, and not in 100 years have thought that a flying squirrel would be the cause of me venturing out on a dark and cold night.

But this is the story they told me.  They bought a flying squirrel.  It got loose in the car.  In flew into the vent.  They couldn’t get it out.  They decided to try and tear the interior of the car apart, but that didn’t work.  So they set out food in a bag, hoping it will “wake up” (they are nocturnal, I guess) and crawl into the bag and eat, yet still be there when they go back in a few hours to check on it.  So they had me pick them up while the rest of their plan (hopefully) plays out.

They didn’t want to start the car because they were afraid it might chop the flying squirrel up.

Yeah – that is exactly what I thought.  I need these kids drug tested immediately.  Even in my wildest days I couldn’t make up a story like this.

But oddly enough – I can’t poke any holes in the story.  They were both sober and both told the flying squirrel story the same way.  Either they were well practiced, or they were telling the truth.

But if no flying squirrel shows up in the next couple of days I am going to really start wondering about these two.

You Can’t Make This Shit Up (YCMTSHU).  Flying squirrels 8 days before Christmas.  Bring on the Egg Nog – I need to find my own alternate reality.  The one’s my kids have is just to wild for me.

Flying squirrels.



  1. I hear ya – this event doesn’t show up on the radar of life’s showstoppers….but inquiring minds want to know!

  2. @Deannie.  Good question.  It drives some of my friends nuts how few questions I ask my kids about stuff like this.  I assume they had their reasons, and it was their money, and they were both over 18.

    I guess I just didn’t think the "why" of it was much of my business 🙂

    As long as they do well in school and don’t make life-changing mistakes (mistakes you cannot recover from – jail, pregnancy, DUI, etc) I give them a ton of latitude.

  3. Wow! I thought my daughter calling me for a ride home from the $tarbuck$ that is 8 blocks from home while I was at work two counties over in Arlington was a bit of a stretch yesterday…till I read this.

    Why did they purchase a flying squirrel? That tiny detail hasn’t been revealed yet…

  4. @Ike – well, my son just called me asking if I would be willing to take the dash apart to locate this elusive (and imaginary?) flying squirrel.

    So if they are running a scam on me, they’ve put a tremendous amount of effort into it!

    So I get to tear apart a Honda to find (perhaps) a flying squirrel.  Cool 🙂

  5. Oh no!  It’s just a matter of time before they finish writing this up in the "Dude! I just totally scammed the ‘rents with a Flying Squirrel story" group on LiveJournal.


  1. […] Comments deannie: I hear ya – this event doesn’t show up on the radar of life’s showstoppers&#82… rob: @Deannie. Good question. It drives some of my friends nuts how few questions I ask my […]